pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
