NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
