he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she peed on how many people?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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