do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just had sex on a roof
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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