my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Randomize
