dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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