Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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