Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
