Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
