I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
