And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
