AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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