The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
