When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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