You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
