Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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