I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Randomize
