is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
