i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
