great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
