hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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