Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
