So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
