They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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