i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
