I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
