we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
