she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
