So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
