Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
