What a fucking waste of an outfit
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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