I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
