Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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