if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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