I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I checked into jail on foursquare
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
