Already got asked if we're dating
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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