I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
