You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
