I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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