hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
