I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
