Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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