Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
