Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
