did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Every concussion has its silver lining
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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