Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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