i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
