the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
