yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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