The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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